What i say.....

WEll here goes wat i' say abt me lolx

Me

so wat do wanna know abt me huh? just ask i was a kid with no aim at all in life ntn did i want to do except racing n tuning cars hell yeah but wat happnd? i donno really ma lifes now a mess u know

Say i'm..gonna tell sumtyn so stupid abt a stupid boy..thas me!!
y.am.i.like.dis? always left alone..widout nyone whom i can depend upon?
in ma past i..was so kewl i think .thas before joinin de current skool.. well.i've..never.acheived.nythin...just.
a..failure...n..always.will.be.dat!!
ma..only..medal of..ma.life..is de gold that i got fer a smiling contest.(beat.dat)
in dat skewl i always used to be soo gud except in de 2 languages..n..if..not.fer.dose.2..i.wud..have.been.number.1
but.since..5th...i..used.ta..suck.big.tym....change.of.syllabus.may.have.been.a.prob...wateveh.
well..never..been.able.to.make.it.to.de..top.or..even..nywhere.close!!


then de oder thing is dat i don think i really ever had a freind in ma skewl..not one person u know..n.still.no.one.knows.me.or.understands..me..they cant understand my feelings really..they..just.act...as.though they could wat a jerk i'm..
i was talkative i may have made sum freinds but i never was a trouble fer nyone as far as i know except wen i made a few gr8 n stupid blunders dat even i can't forgive maself..so..now..i've.find.out.maself..who.i.am.n..wat..i.need..n wat i can do so dat i can tell u ..abt me

as far i know i'm de worst damn kid dat u'll ever have seen!! sumone so stupid..arrg

wats..de.point.of.orkut?
arr..coz..i.dint..have.ny.friends.only..
i..signed.up.into.dis.crap!!.so.dat.ppl..can.know.dat.i'm.always.alone..but.wat.do.i.get.here.nutyn!
every..jerk..tells..dat..he/she.is..always.alone..arrg..they.may.have.atleast.sumone.or.2.in..skool..a..few..gud..neighbours..to.play.wid..a.place.to.play..games.n.sports..n.all.dese..stuff.i.dont..have..nythin!!..just..me..ma..life.s.only..me..no.one..has..really.been.able.to..or..even.treid..to.understand..me!!
so.why..shud.i.care?.if.u.don.want.me.y.bother.to.cum.to.me??
i.was.so.crazy..wen.i.joined....that.i..wanted..many..friends..even.though..i.tot..dat.100..was..2..tough..
but.den..wen.i.made..to.400...i.left.adding...den..ppl.stated..cumin.to.me..
see.so.many..commus..so.many..freinds..wat..de.use?
i'm.still.alone..how..can.i.reAlly..know..who.really.cares.fer.me?
i.can't..coz..dey.are.too.far.away..n.thas.y.i.created.de.nickelback.commu..far..away.roxx..itz..ma..life.
almost.all.songs..represent.mee...n..it.reminds.me.of.wat.i.really.am..just.a..big..gud.fer.nutyn..

well.so.now....since.11th..physics..suck
ed.fer.me..
i.donno.y...its..ma.nitemare!

..so....o.don..feel.like..cumin.here.nymore...i.mean.ta.orkut
coz..ma....dad's..happiness.is.more.imp.dan.mine..
hes..de.only.one.who.cares.fer.me!!..
so.its..ma..sacrifice...i..give.up...

u.know..dat.if.i.ever.had..freinds.its.in.orkut..n.so..ma..comp.is..ma.life.coz..ma..friends.live.in.it..rite

so.i'll.be.llifeless...after.dis

so.fe..today..this.is.enough!!

ma..real.waste..was..dat..i..always..tri
ed..ta..make.oders..happy..
but.wat.do.i..get..from.dem??..u..can..guess...i.don.wanna..say
....n..i..really..really..am.so.angry.wid..most..girls..wid..few..exceptions..
coz.of.deirr.nature.....n..i've..really..hhated..em.all.u.know..
..most.of.em..are..disloyal.u..can.never..xpect...wat..cums..next.
.n.in.real..they.do.loads.of.things..bad..n..dey.use.dier.ultimate..weapon..ie.
they.start..cryn....
wat..can.we.do?...no.choice.naah

den....ma..dad..always..says...always..expect.de.unexpected..
death.is..de.only.thing..thas..sure..ta..happen.to.all.of..u..
n..i'm..just..expectin.it.all.de..tym..just..waitin..fer.it...rather..dan.be..trouble.fer.all.of.u..pplz

well.i..can.do.nythin..fer..ma..freinds.
..
if.its.within..me....arms..lolz..hell.yeah..
it..breaks.ma..heart.wen..sumone..just..leaves.me.n.goes.away..
..thers.on.eperson..who.was..ma..best.freind..in.a.prev..class...now..he.doesn't..even.mind.me
.....after..he..grouped..wid..a....group..of....watever..u..can.say..
i.wont..be..wid..dem.nyway.....never..in.a.milion..years.

i..used..ta..be..so.sharin..n..now..i've.lost..intrest..even..in.dat..coz..dey..jus.t.borrow..n..den.go.n.lose.it.
.i..feel.so.sad.wen.i..lose..ma..things...

i'm.so.xtreme.u.know?
..i..had..walked.20kms.one.day.in.de..he
at.at.mid.day.lolz......home..yeah

den..i.was..able.t.a....stay.widout..eatin..fer..more.dan.1.n.1/2.days......n..wud..have..been..widout..if.not.forced

n..

today...was..such.a..disaster...u.know?
..wat.a.bore
.....5..hrs..stdyin.physics.omg

yeah..y..r..u.in..ma..mind..nyway?
i.tot..u..cud.read..wat.i..wrote.oveh.de
re...



wel.fget.it..u..never..learn...


now..ma..life..seems..like..a..hell
all.ma..freinds..r..havin..gr8.problems..

2.of..ma..gud..freinds...had..deir...best.freinds..killed
i..feel.like...i'm..de..cause..fer..everythin..
n..now.....one..of..ma..best..sis.......
she.is..also//gone....[(]
i..can't..take.dis.nymore....
y.does..ti..happn..to.me.?.y??

.wat..have.i.done..to.deserve.all.dis?

maybe..i..was..always..wrong....n..i.made...2..many..mistakes..
.so.i'm...getting..paid..back..fer..what.i've.done...

well....i'll..have..ta..face.it..
but..i.can't..i...just..wanna..die....rather..dan...getting..ma..freinds..killed


so..i.don.want..u..to..cum.ny.closer..to.me..coz..i..fear..u.2...may..be.

no.dear...dont..cum.to.plz..fer..ur.own..sake...
just..leave..me..alone...(as..if..sumone's..always.dere)..
blah..blah...
do.dat.fer..me.w.illl.yeah?
plzzz

no matter wat happens i still am so bad

no body still understands me or seems ta belive me thas so bad!!

see ma sis is dead ..n i.cudn't..even.see..her

i.don.want.it.to.happn.to.me.nymore

death.is.awaiting.us..so.i.decided..to.l
uv..u..all...even..if.u..hate..me..if.u.don.like.wat..i.say..leave..me..n..go!!
i've..ntn..to.say...but.de..fact.dat.i.can't.........let.nythin.happn..to.u

or..deres..nanodeh..choice..

u..all.just..leav.e..me..n..go.save..urselves...bein..ma..freind.is..very..dangerous..as..evev..u..put..ur.lives.into.danger!!!
..y..risk..ur.life..fer..me?.y..evev..pretend..dat..u.like..me?
to.make..me..happy?
.no..need..be..happy..wid.urselves..dan..abt..me..
no.fake.s.needed....
i'll.soon..fade.away........

if..i.die.now...u.wont..even..know..if..i'm.alive.or.not..will.u?
.how..will..u?
..n.....den..u.won.t..even.care.abt.me.anymore..or..even..enquire..abt.me..will.u?
never..i.know
u..have..ur.own.personall..things...but..wat.of..me?
i..don.wanna.live..dis.life..
wat..i'm..doin..fer..de..sake.of..everyone..who.wants..me..to.it..n..not..fer..me
even..if..i..die..i.wont...care..abt.me...

no.one's.been.ever.dere..fer..me...to.look.after..me..to.help.me..
t.protect.n....do.nythin.fer..me!!

no.one..needs..me.

..since..i.was..so.so..damn.lonely..i.wanted..to.show.de..world..some.one..so.alone..xisted....den..i..heard.of..orkut..from.dose..ppl.in.skewl..so.i.joined...n..wrote..ma..abt..so.kewlly...but.den.ppl.in..skewl.said.it.was..only..ma..own.fault
so.i..chanhged..it......now...i.don..even..care...if.u..luv..me..or..not..all..i..can..do.is..just..luv..u..thas..all
u..take..it..in.a..wa.y.2..much.

care.n..affection..is.wat..its.all.about

u..don..know..me.deary....
so.u.can.say.nythin..now
but.wat.of.de.oders?.huh
.de.so.called..friends..wat.of.em?
wat..do.u..hav.ta..say.of.em?.huh...ma.lifes..been.fer.de..worst

u.wont..understand.me..n..u'll..never..belive

so.wat?
i.. don care..wat.u..feel....i'll..have.ta..throw..out..ma..mind..sumwhere.naah..

so.i..chose..ma..commu....it.was..de..best......now.wat
its..so.left.alone....n..i.don..invite..nyone..here.nymore....dey..see.n..jin...i.donno.oads.of..ppl.over.here.u.know!!

for.sum.reason..i.feel.dat.u.can't.depend.on.me..nymore.so.don.try..to.put.ny .of.ur.burdens.on..me..atleast.fer..de..sake.of..urself...don.care.abt.me.nyway..
ur..just..wastin.ur.time.fer.me..wat.a.waste..tym.is.2.precious.to.be.wasted..n..if.u....are..wid..me..u'll..becum.such.a.waste.naah..so.i.don.want.u..to.be.lost.nyway.all.ma..freinds.desreve.to.be..de..best
unlke..me.so.don.follow..ma..bloody.damn.steps.plz..
u'll..just.hate.me.nyway...if.u.do.dat.dso.'m.sayin.in.advance.thas.all.abt.de..experience.u'll.get
its.a.waste!!

non's..really.ever..wanted..me..n..i'm.so.sure.of.dat..from.wat.i've..ever..felt..
..one..thing..dont..post.ur...replies..her.eokz..plz..i..beg.yea....thas..y.i.made.de.odeh.topic...i.want..ma..freedom..
..atleast..thas..de.only..thing..that.i've.left....see.i.don.have..anythin..to.loose..
coz.der's..ntn.special.in..me...i'm..de..worst..ever..boy.u.can.ever.see....coz..i've.only..made..mistakes.n.mstakes..
.........i'll.never..get..right....just..spoilin..oders.aswell.in..ma...path..to.hell....hell.is.waitin..fer..me.
sins/make.me.wat.i'm.....see..u.can't.do.nythin..now.its..too.late....n..if.u.really.wish.ta..help.me..just..kill.me..fer.me..n.i'll..die.a.happy..kid..blessin..u.rather.dan.cursin.u.fer..wat.u.did..
thas..all.wat..i've..wanted....de.earlier...u kill.de..better...as...i.may..luv..ma..life..later...den..i.wudn't.eanna...die..but.....thas..y.i.wann..die.rite.now..i.donn.wanna.like.it.nyway..
wen..ders..nutyn.i.can.do..i.don..wan.do.nutyn.fer.wat.i.cant.do..

i never wanted ta speak all dis crap to anyone n i've never..ever.did..that..to.anyone.else.aswell....
coz..ma..mind..may..blow..i.was..thinkin...i'll.put.in.m.a..deserted..freimnds..commu..no.one..wants..me..no.ones..actyv.here.now.adays..so.its d
best.place.ta.post..all.ma..busted..crap....i.don.care..even.if..anyone.reads..but..den.its.de..best.thing.i.can.do.fer.wat..i..cud..do...fer.me.
so.i.post.it.hrer.like.talkin.to.a.wall...huh..no.ones..listenin..who.care...atleast...i.spoke.it.out.ta.de..hell.wall

i've.been.betrayed..always..n..never..have..i..found..nyone..who.can.be.really..trusted..wenever..i.start..trustin..sumone..he/she..just..proves..me.wrong.wat.de..hell.am.i.in..huh?
always..been.de.worst..from.de..past..now.in.d.e.present..n..will.always.be.in.de..future..all.hail.de..worst...u..can.see.d.e.future.in..me..
..well..atleast..amrit..bro.has..sum.sense....he..tol.me..de...eternal.truth.....to.find..out..who.really.needs.u.n..found.dat..no.one.needs.me....thanks.to.him.i.respect..em..n..misty..too....she..was..always..sayin.dat..freinds..don..exixst...its..been.so.true.fer.me..its.dat.u.don.really.recognise..de..true..fact...
...welli..thank.em.all.............fer..lettin..me..meet.so..many..ppl.from.all.oveh..de..world..from.all.de..inhavited..continents..hell.yeah..

yєαн υя яเтє รяυ υ'√є ๒єєи яเтє ๒υт иσฬ ℓєммє รαy ฬнy αм เ ∂є σиℓy σиє ƒєєℓเи αℓℓ∂ เร нυн? เ яєαℓℓy ∂σи ฬαииα ℓเ√є иyмσяє αร α ƒαcт яαтнєя ∂เє ƒєя รυм cαυรє ∂αи тσ ℓเ√є σи ∂เร υGℓy и ฬαรтє∂ ℓเƒє υ รєє мα xαмร ฬєяє яєαℓℓy รυckเи и เ ∂σииσ ฬαтร Gσииα ๒є мα รтαтυร เ нαтє є√єяyтнเиG яєαℓℓy เ ƒєєℓ ℓเkє เ'м ∂є яєαℓ ℓαรт รσυℓ ฬเ∂ α нєαят ๒υт αℓรσ ∂є σฬяรт σƒ єм αℓℓ тнαт мαkєร мє ∂เƒƒ ƒяσм αℓℓ ∂є яєรт σƒ ∂є ฬσяℓ∂ и иσ ๒σ∂y รєємร тσ υи∂єяรтαи∂ мє σя ฬαитร мє รσ ฬαт нυн ∂єy รαy υ Gєт 1 เи 1000 ƒяเєи∂ร ฬнσ เร яєαℓℓy тяυє ∂σ เ нα√є иy σиє нєяє? ℓσℓ เ ∂σииσ ๒υт เ cαи Gเ√є α 2000 เи 1 тнαร є yєαн เ'ℓℓ ๒є αℓฬαyร ∂єяє ƒєя υ иσ мαттєя ฬαт υ ∂σ ∂єαя เ нαтє เт ฬєи σ∂єяร αรk мє ƒєя ƒσяGเ√єиєรร เ'ℓℓ яαнтєя тαkє ∂є ๒ℓαмє yєαн เ ƒєєℓ รσ и ∂єи єи∂ เт яєαℓℓy cαи รυмσиє kเℓℓ мє ƒєя мє

well...i.wanted to say to df dat he mad me mod n thanks fer dat really wen i asked em 1st to make me mod den he tol i'll have to be super active den i tol i cant be n den also tot dat i don desrve to be den n left de idea to its own path really let go of it coz i can't do nythin abt it. bt now he made me so all of a sudden dat i got maself into a mess really n he gave me a weeks tym so wat cud i do ruined maslef fer em see thas bad commitment really ro all de rest but wen sumone asks me do sumtyn wid sum trust i had ta give in well it may end me completely n ma life too now i've done wat he wanted me 2 do so made em happy i guess atleast dats de gud thing that i cud do fer em i belive yeah be happy i've always been der fer de whole lot of yeah wenwver u made a commu i used to cum dere n be actyv even if i know no one dere u see but u guys don do de same fer me i begged over a 100 tyms till wat do i get nutyn no one respects ma words lets say i don care abt dat atleast pretnedt to help cant u ? u wont even do dat so wats de se huh always makin un happenable statements ddat u'll do it u'll never do it u'll fget it naah when i say sumrtyn to u i'll try ma lvl best to complete unless ma skool n ma tym prevents me from it sat must be understood dat i've never let u down but u all i mean in general only de 1st was fer df alone rest is fer al of u wat have i done to deserve dis if dis leads to anyprobs i'll say de prob toma bro who was wid me Sonu when di cmmu started see now even he's gone he doesn;t even remeber me wat use den coz of em mr cool tol me to vote der in dec or nov donno wat well den i met mj in der hes still de best bro i've got u see ma musaaa yeah even he cant be so reliable den i got so many of u dere soon posion n shes de only one who really tries to help me n suvi also tries a bit
no one else i dere u see i made df ut ma commu as related not hopin ppl to join but fer em to remeber ma commu well i gues i was of no use well.i.guess.ive.ore.to.say.but.too.lil.
tym.to.do.it.soo.tc.all

dαy bєfσяє i dσииσ wαт i did i wαร รσ мαd αт รυмтyи รσ รмαll dαт i αcтєd αร if i wєяє яєαlly α мєитαl ραтiєит cαи υ υиdєяรтαиd αяяg wαт wєит wяσиg i dσииσ bαиgєd мα нєαd σитσ iяσи fяαмє σvєи и σvєя dєи мα єlbσм iитσ dє ρσlє αяяg wαт α иυт i'м jυรт fєя α รмαll яєαรσи cαит bєliєvє и i wαร รcяєαмiи αт мα тσρ vσicє αgαiиรт мα bяσ и fαтнєя wαт α jєяk i αм єvєи i dσииσ и iи нєll i fiи σиly lσиliиєรร и รυffσcαтiσи รυмσиє тяyiи тσ รтяαиglє мє bυт иєvєя killร мє รσ i fєll dє ραiи яαтнєя dαи dє dєαтн i dєรєяvє wαт α fαтє i'v и i cαи;т รαy wαт i wαит συт тσ иyσиє รσ dσи bσтнєя αรkiи мє иyтнiи diяєvтly jυรт тємє тσ σรт нєяє и iт'll bє dσиє мα dєяα

now.i.think.i've.made.maself.a.dream.amb
ition.n.thas.to.change.dis.worl.dats.unchangeable.lolz

can.it.eveh.be.done..i.donno.but.it.sure..has.to.be..done..sumday.bah..sumone..else.its..just.a.waste.of.lyf.me..a.waste.already.so..y.not.try.to.change..it/..
dis.sukin.world.of.no...reality.but..betrayal.n.war....n..killin..fer.no.reason..
just.wat.do.u.think.of.it.fun?.huh...wat.is.dis.worl.cumini.to.??/arg.hate.dsi.plzce

everthin.thas.been.posted.her.eis.wat.i.had.writen.sumwere.else.kz.n.its.got.replies.in.it.to.oders.whom.i.had.wrote.it.to.so.don.bother.abt.em.kz.plz
..n.so.lets..ad.dmore.more..i.mean.lemme.add.kzzx

death.awaits.me.on.de.path.lolx.n.i'm.waitin.fer.em.aswell.n.ringin.

its.that.bad.a.condition.else.i.wud.have.been.atleast.a.hell.keeper.lo

well.as.of.now.i.was.thinkin.of.ma.past.wen.a.saw.2.oldest.skool.magazines.u.know..
oh....i.remembered.a.lot.of.ma.past.u.know.wat.was.i?.hu.h..we.were.all.so.kool.n.vute.u.know.so.beautifl.so.inncoent.n.all.dat.stuff...see.how.we'vw.changed.from.den..arrg.so.bad..so.evil.so.selfish..yuck.wat.more.canu.cahnge.to?
maybe.a.terrosrist..